JoeDeclassified.com

Grunt:



Grunt is perhaps the most uninteresting and boring of the FSS Series 1 figures because he's grossly outdated. And like Quarrel, no means were taken to improve him. His body is still too short, he’s still too skinny, and his construction, aesthetics, and articulation don’t match the superior figures that have come out since 2007. True, he’s a faithful recreation, but he’s painfully dated and I personally feel making this figure simply to "fill in" a full set from 1983 was a mistake. Why settle to emulate mediocrity when one could have instead evolved it to greatness? (I also hope the freebie figure isn't a similarly created and equally boring tan Clutch.) Grunt is certainly a deserving character to be made or remade, but not in this style or format. His 1991 version would have been a better way to do it, or even a Retaliation incarnation.





Grunt uses the default 25th body, and a repainted Zap head. He comes with the standard 25th webear, oversized M-16 with under-mounted KAC Masterkey shotgun, PoC Recondo's rifle, helmet, knife, pistol, glider pack, and stand. As usual, the weapons are the fugly "Club trademark" gray.

The head was a good choice, and initially I didn’t know where it came from. I was a little curious why his lips were sculpted in a slightly pert manner, but that's because I didn't initially realize it was the sculpting from Zap’s unpainted mustache. With that said, the unpainted mustache sculpt is subtle, and as mentioned, it works to convey more detailed lips, so it works. The head is also decently sized proportionally, so it can fit on a variety of other bodies if you wanted to swap it out. The only drawback, is, his skin tone is a little more dusty than I would have liked, and since it's plastic colored flesh, the plastic is very shiny and it looks like he's constantly sweating---and the paint of his eyes gets slightly washed out giving the illusion his scleras are not painted in.



The M-16 was a poor choice, as it's much too big furthering the look that Grunt is short and scrawny, and that rifle version is now antiquated. A better option would have been the SOPMOD M-4 that came with Lifeline, or the SCAR-L. But he does have the better sized Recondo rifle, so that makes up for it. His helmet is also problematic, as it doesn’t stay on---a similar issue with many Modern Era figures with removable helmets. (It's too bad Hasbro abandoned the "Snap-On, Stay-On Accessory" concept.) As for the rest of his gear, it's passable, but passé. The glider is okay, but the deco and coloration should have been based on the Falcon Glider to carry over a more successful reiteration, since the physical look of the new glider pack is completely different. It would have also been helpful if Grunt's arms would have actually been long enough to properly hold the glider's hand grips. But as it stands, his arms are too short.





There's really not much to say about Grunt. The figure was a direct repaint, but this is another example of a character that could have used more modern parts to capture the spirit of the original, but updated so he didn't look so outdated and pathetic. I will note his head is compatible with the Retaliation Joe Trooper body, and it looks good on that (or a Mouse body) to give him a more modern appearance---especially when you give him new gear. But regardless, at the prices we are paying for these figures, I'd expect a complex camo pattern and a badass aesthetic to jutsify the cost. Grunt does not deliver on any of these aspects, and I would not expect to see him sell if he was released at mass retail in his current form.







Overall the Zap head works to differentiate Grunt so he’s not as generic as most of his prior 25th incarnations have been, but it’s still the least amount of effort on an already very uninspired and lazy repaint that keeps him from anything remotely cool. Final Grade: D.


Cover Girl:



Like Grunt, Cover Girl’s parts have been around the block in a classic "been there, done that" style, and whose impact might have been more substantial if it wasn't already trumped by Sparta; who is basically the same exact figure sans a few accessories and a slightly different color palette.







Cover Girl uses the RoC Scarlett body, the DTC Cover Girl head and vest, and the added webgear from the 25th 5-pack Lady Jaye. She comes with Stalker's M-32 submachine gun, pistol, and stand. The DTC head works, but unfortunately the paint is a little to thick, giving her a more rounded face that looks a tad chubby compared to Sparta's face; whose face paint was more thinly applied. It’s not bad---and this is one of the better female heads to date, but it's still noticeable if you have a keen eye. A more glaring inconsistency---and a habit of the Club which I'm rapidly losing my patience with, is the inexplicable and obsessive compulsive manner in which the Club seemingly forces red hair on characters who are brunettes: Grunt (2007), Wet-Suit (2011), Sparta (2011), Cover Girl (2013). And we can also factor in every newly created in-house female character have also been red-heads: Night Stalkers Commander, Crimson Asp, and a third of the Night stalkers Troopers. Someone at the Club seemingly has a fetish for gingers...

Yes, Cover Girl's original box art had her with red hair. But the figure did not, because Hasbro wanted to differentiate her from Scarlett. Furthermore, the physical figure is final representation of a character's evolution, and that should be the trump card or default in terms of hair color or what-not.







Another annoyance was the filecard. For whatever reason, her filecard does not list her as the Wolverine driver, so that lessens the impact of who she is supposed to be when she is downgrade and relegated to a simple transport driver and mechanic. I can only speculate it was done because the Club did not have a Wolverine to sell with her, but never-the-less, it turns her into a generic Green Shirt instead of a specialized missile carrier operator.

Overall Cover Girl isn't bad---she's a fairly faithful update, and it's always good to get more female characters. But coming hot off the heels of Sparta, she looks uninspired and bland. Perhaps Sparta should have used different colors and parts so Cover Girl wouldn't have been robbed of her uniqueness, but that wasn't the case, so we judge what we have in front of us. With the exception of a tan Clutch, this finishes off 1983 and the lineup of females from the FSS. Final Grade: C.